Parenting parents
Hi everyone, Pat Davids here. I've got to put this post up then I have to head out of town. My parents (aren't they the cutest couple) live two hours away on the farm. I love going to the farm. I grew up there and each time I set foot on the place I'm surrounded with wonderful memories. What I don't like is seeing how frail my parents are becoming. Don't get me wrong, they live very independent lives. They may be 80 but they both still drive and enjoy going out with friends, but the truth is, they just need more help these days.
The big farmhouse is too much for my mother to keep up with. My daughter and I get up at least twice a month between us to clean house. My sister-in-law helps too.
My mother has fallen several times this year. When she told her doctor, he said it time they started looking at assisted living. My mom said, "We've talked about that."
As we left the office, she looked at me and said, "I'd really like to go looking for new kitchen flooring. Can you come with me?"
Now does that sound like someone who is thinking about moving out of the big old rambling farmhouse? Not!
So today I'm on my way to take Mom shopping for new flooring. We will not be looking at assisted living facilities.
When is the time right to make that move? I wish I knew.
Oh, well. I need new flooring too. We should have a fun day.
Is anyone else helping parent a parent? How do you approach the subject of moving to a smaller, safer place? I could use some suggestions. Thanks. I'll check back for replies when I get back later tonight. Blessings everyone.
Labels: assisted living, parenting, parents, Patricia Davids
3 Comments:
At January 10, 2012 9:18 AM,
Jackie S. said…
My parents remained independent into their mid 80's...then we built a two family home, where they had their own apartment downstairs. It was best thing we ever did. Both are deceased now. You will just KNOW (with God's wisdom) when it is time to make changes! Blessings!!
jackie.smith[at]dishmail[dot]net
At January 10, 2012 12:21 PM,
Leann said…
Pat, I feel your pain. After my mother broke her arm, we wanted her move to close to us. She looked at the retirement home five minutes from my house. (It was a fabulous place and my husband and I considered moving there ourselves.) She loved the place then went home. It was one excuse after another as to why she couldn't move. Fix this, fix that, etc. I'd like to see her every week, but I won't push her.
At January 11, 2012 9:11 AM,
Anonymous said…
I understand the problem. My mother-in-law moved into senior apts in May after living in her home since 1959. She is in her late 80's and has several health problems as well as dealing with a neighborhood that was becoming no longer safe. We had tried for several years to get her to consider moving into the senior apts nearby. She was always "going" to check into them.
One day my oldest son was there. She was complaining about something and said she guessed she needed to seriously think about moving as things weren't going to get any better. He took advantage of her mood and called her 2 days later with an appt to see the apts. It was really a God thing because 6 wks later she was moved into her new apt. She didn't even fight him about it. Is she completely happy there? Not yet.She is adjusting though. She got the apt she wanted at a time she was willing to move.The adjustment has been better than I expected.
I'll keep you in my prayers that things will move smoothly for you when God opens the door.
Shirley
beekeeper5(at)bellsout(dot)net
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